"If you think women are crazy you’ve never had a dude go from hitting on you to literally threatening to kill you in the time it takes you to say “no thanks.”"
- Kendra Wells (via belle-de-nuit)
Well this is fucking surreal
(Source: mysharona1987, via rubee)
shut up police officer you’re like 12
also this is my favorite vine
im still counting on one last wave of puberty to come really late and make me hot
(Source: alrightevans, via humoristics)
east coasters: i drove through 17 states on the way to work
west coasters: i have been traveling in this desert for 49 years. generations have died. children have been born. when will i make it to the promised land
Midwesterners: I haven't left a 20 mile radius in 2 years
floridians: please help me there are so many oranges they are attacki-
Wanna feel old?
The movie “Finding Nemo” came out 57 years ago
ppl my age have children what the hell i am a children
(Source: dumpybear, via thechildofstyle)
I get progressively uglier throughout the day
(Source: stropping, via trust)
"Date someone who is interested in you. I don’t mean someone who thinks you’re cute or funny. I mean someone who wants to know every insignificant detail about you. Someone who wants to read every word you write. Someone who wants hear every note of your favourite song, and watch every scene of your favourite movie. Someone wants to find every scar upon your body, and learn where each one came from. Someone who wants to know your favourite brand of toothpaste, and which quotes resonate deep inside your bones when you hear them. There is a difference between attraction and interest. Find the person who wants to learn every aspect of who you are, and hold onto them."
- Me (via stayy-for-tonight)
teacher: its pajama day
that one kid: WHAT IF I SLEEP NAKED HAAAHAAHA
(Source: qothqueen, via jonophobias)